Saturday

CORONADO NATIONAL MEMORIAL

along U.S.-Mexico border, near Sierra Vista, Ariz.
NPS Website; Local Website

La ConquistadoraWHAT IS IT?
The Site dedicated to commemorating Spanish conquistador Francisco Vásquez de Coronado’s fruitless search for the Seven Cities of Gold.

BEAUTY (3/10)
Most of Arizona is breathtakingly beautiful, incredibly varied, and full of rare birds and enchanting cacti. Coronado N MEM is not one of those places. The surrounding area is a dusty scrub brush filled portion of the Sonoran desert. The N MEM is located in a sky island canyon that is without the numerous hummingbirds found at other Arizona sky island canyons.

HISTORICAL INTEREST (4/10)
The Coronado N MEM marks the probable place that Coronado crossed into what we now call the United States. Of course, those borders did not exist in 1540. The physical National Park Site has little to do with Coronado’s journey and might as well be located at the Grand Canyon or even in Kansas where the journey ended.

Coronado’s futile search for gold that never existed is historically interesting, but there is no need to travel to a remote spot near the Mexican border to learn about him.

CROWDS (1/10)
We arrived when the Park opened. So did a school group of 100 kids. A Ranger told us to avoid the Coronado Cave unless we wanted to accompany screaming middle schoolers.

OK, fine. No problem it has happened before. A volunteer at the Visitor Center suggested that we drive up to the Montezuma Pass overlook, “it is very pretty there.” We took her advice and headed up the mountain. After less than a mile, the road turned to dirt and took a steep turn. So we turned around.

As we headed down the mountain, a Park Ranger SUV sped towards us with his passenger door opened, passed us, did a 180° and pulled us over. Even though he was never driving behind us, his reason for stopping us was a burned out rear right brake light. At 8:45 in the morning.

Montezuma CanyonHe then accused us of transporting drugs across the Mexican border and demanded to search the Nissan. “1,000 of pounds of drugs are confiscated at this Park all the time”, he let us know, “and your car demonstrates all the tell-tale signs. It is from out-of-state and you have a lot of stuff in it.” Of course, we are traveling.

After finding nothing but smelly socks and underwear, a soiled tent and hundreds of National Parks pamphlets he let us go. Michael asked him about a new book detailing how Park Rangers have the most fatalities of any federal employees, including DEA agents, Border Patrol, CIA and FBI. Most of the deaths are drug-related and occur either at Coronado N MEM or Organ Pipe Cactus NM.

“Yes, I know that,” he revealed, “thankfully, it is my last day working here.”

EASE OF USE/ACCESS (1/5)
The Park is 21 miles from southwest of Sierra Vista, Arizona 2 miles via East Montezuma Canyon Road and then 19 miles northward on Arizona Route 92. Sierra Vista is 27 miles south of Interstate 10. Tucson is 45 more miles to the West.

CONCESSIONS/BOOKSTORE (3/5)
The store contains a number of books about Spanish conquest and exploration but nowhere near the definitive selections we have seen elsewhere. There are no books about the current U.S.-Mexico border problems and how they might affect the modern-day visitor.

COSTS (3/5)
The Site is free as is your court appointed attorney.

RANGER/GUIDE TO TOURIST RATIO (1/5)
The few Interpretive Rangers on staff had no time for us. The Security Rangers, well that is an entirely different story.

TOURS/CLASSES (3/10)
It is always a bad sign when a Park Site’s video is shown in the same room as the bookstore. In Coronado’s case, the TV screen and hard wood viewing bench is less than 5 feet from the entrance desk. In addition, the TV is very old and a static text image has permanently burned into its screen. The video itself is average and very old. It is kind of fun to see re-enactors dressed as Spanish soldiers.

The small museum modestly explains Coronado’s journey, the best part being the “try me on” conquistador armor. Gab eagerly modeled the heavy gear.

FUN (1/10)
Michael has always been fascinated by the exploits of Coronado. Perhaps it was because he was the first European to see the Grand Canyon or maybe it was due to the countless hours Michael spent playing the Commodore 64 game, Seven Cities of Gold. Either way, he was excited to visit this Site.

Not so after no Ranger tours, a tiny Museum, nothing at all to do, dirt roads and near detainment. This was our worst National Parks experience yet.

Los ConquistadoresWOULD WE RECOMMEND? (1/10)
DO NOT COME HERE.

Nothing about the Coronado N MEM is worth being a part of the problems that the War on Drugs has created. Remember, you too are a suspect if you a) have an out-of-state license plate or b) if your car is weighted down by luggage. Only come here if you have Arizona plates and are traveling light.

TOTAL 21/80

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